So my coach has been pulling together our team for the Tough Mudder this year and as I reminisced about my experience with the team last year, this blog post immediately fell into my head. Most of you are familiar with the idea of a Tough Mudder: 12 miles of mud, serious obstacles, hills, and more mud. When you read the obstacle descriptions (arctic enema, electroshock therapy, fire in the hole, etc), it can get a little intimidating.  This is where helping others up begins.

Often in life, we are confronted by something that seems like a huge, nearly insurmountable obstacle: a financial crisis, health concern, professional screwup, or family strife.

For some, the struggle begins as soon as an obstacle is perceived. Many lack the ability to see the easier path cut into the mountain or the handholds that exist. For these people, the pressure and anxiety of ‘impossible’ looms large from the very beginning.

Some of us have developed techniques and skills to help us overcome these obstacles and they rarely look as bleak to us. Every once in a while though, the easier path around becomes blocked, our handhold gives out, our foot slips or we find we are just too tired to jump as high as we need to. We become weaker and increasingly fatigued and soon feel more and more hopeless in the shadow of this looming obstacle.

I cannot tell you how many times during the Tough Mudder training (and actual event) I saw people standing at the base of an obstacle. Sometimes the obstacle was real and tangible (an 8′ tall Berlin Wall). Sometime it was less concrete (how can I ever make it through 12 miles?). In every single instance, when someone took the time to reach their hand down and help that person up and over that obstacle, the payoff was instant and overwhelming. I cannot tell you the amount of satisfaction I got watching the emotional and mental whirlwind people experienced when they would summit their own ‘mountain’ (with or without any help from me).

Helping others up comes in many forms. Where the Tough Mudder was concerned it included:

-Distracting folks from the pain and monotony of long training runs

-Amping people up to help them feel confident

-Giving information about obstacles that seemed particularly intimidating beforehand to help ease discomfort

-Providing an actual hand, thigh, back, or shoulders for someone to climb up and onto

-Reminding them that there is beer and showers at the end of the course

-Sticking to the plan when the alternatives sometimes seemed much easier

In life, helping someone up comes in many forms too. They may just need gentle encouragement, a night of drinking wine and friendship, a shoulder to cry on, a website address to look for information, or a strong shove of their ass up and over a wall.

In all instances, it requires you to keep your eyes open because we can all get tunnel vision when there’s an arctic enema ice bath in front of us. We need to keep our eyes open to identify a need/opportunity to help someone OR to see the hand extended to us (or shoved under our rear).