It’s ok to ask for help

  

As a trainer I encounter people who often beat themselves up about not being able to stick to a diet, re-gaining weight they lost, or not working out consistently. While there can be benefits to being honest and realistic with yourself about your situation and weaknesses, those benefits can quickly be overrun by negatives if you allow them to. Look at any successful CEO or business owner and you’ll see a commonality: they surround themselves with people who can help them achieve their goals…especially in arenas in which they struggle. ‘Idea guys’ need a logistics person, ‘Engineer types’ need a people person, etc. I’m speaking in stereotypical generalities…but you get the point. Additionally, just because you know ‘what’ to do, it isn’t always easy to translate that into actually doing it. 

So when I meet someone who is successful at work and manages a family and hobbies but who expresses such frustration over not being able to control their nutrition, their workouts, or their weight…the solution seems simple to me: they need help. 

Help can come in the form of a nutritionist, a dietician, a personal trainer, Weight Watchers, beach body, a food logging program, a workout buddy, etc. What all of these things provide is accountability. Accountability is incredibly helpful during times of change and stress and let’s face it: changing a habit is stressful (even when it’s for the best). 

Our body reacts the same way whether we’re starting a new school, new job, moved homes, changed sleep schedules, get married, get divorced, or are introducing new nutrition and workout patterns into our lives. It’s something new. Something out of pattern. Something unusual. In short, it’s stressful. People (and living creatures in general) don’t naturally like that. When ‘stress’ occurs, we crave comfort. Something stable. Something we ‘know’. For so many of us, that’s food. Or sitting on the couch watching Netflix. Or a cocktail after a stressful day. 

So if the very change you’re trying to make is something you’ve turned to for weeks or months or years FOR COMFORT, then it’s a very difficult to change that very behavior. Even if it’s healthier for us in the long term.This is where accountability comes in. You need someone or something to help reinforce this ‘stress’ as something to endure until it becomes a habit/pattern and your body (and mind) accepts it as the new normal. 

This is why I’m not ashamed to ask for help (and you shouldn’t be either). After years of changing my lifestyle to a healthier, more fulfilling one, you would think I have this process down and wouldn’t need outside assistance, but you’re wrong. I’ve trained for and competed in bodybuilding competitions, strength competitions, and a marathon. I’m a personal and group fitness trainer and I help others meet their fitness and health goals. And I still ask for help. 

For each bodybuilding contest, I’ve hired a coach. For my Tactical Strength Challenges, I had a coach. For my first few strongman contests, I had what I refer to as ‘my 3 dads’ (experienced, knowledgeable, and selfless individuals who trained with me, watched technique, and helped me mentally prepare). Now make no mistake, I still did the heavy lifting (literally and figuratively). But it made all the difference in the world to have someone planning the strategy, someone who could help take the guesswork out of it and could tell me simply what to do and when. 

Specifically: after taking a year off after my last bodybuilding show to focus on growing additional muscle and strength, I happened upon strongman and became very intrigued by it and have (for the time being) decided to focus on it. I’ve been training for strongman for the past 6 months or so and its gone well. I took that time to figure out what was involved with the sport, what my natural strengths and weaknesses were, and where I fell along the competitive spectrum. 

During the past year and a half I’ve also enjoyed not having a physique based deadline looming over my head and have been indulging quite a bit. Unfortunately, without that deadline (or any real supervision) I went from enjoying occasional indulgences (but still listening to what makes my body happy) to over-indulging as a ‘norm’ instead of an exception. As a result, I gained fat, don’t fit in my pants as well, and I don’t feel good on a cellular level. 

When I came to this realization, I was approaching my most recent strongman contest and I decided that after my contest I would look to transition back to doing what makes me feel good on a regular basis while working to continue my growth in strongman. It made sense to me to ask for help with that. Currently I spend a lot of time working, training, and developing plans for others.  This is in addition to work and family.  It is easiest for me to take the nutrition and programming off my plate AND to have someone to hold me accountable. 

Additionally, I’m still new to strongman (and to serious strength training in general). I decided it’s a much better investment to hire a coach to do both for me. And that’s what I’ve done. I’m 6 days into phase one with my coach and excited, happy, and motivated. I’m not beating myself up, I’m not worried about results because I know I can trust him (as long as I follow the damn instructions), and the relief it has given me that I’m DOING something about it has been immense. While not everyone is in a position to hire a coach or trainer or nutritionist, there are other options. There are online coaching programs, groups that meet for regular exercise, Facebook accountability groups, challenges with fitbits, etc. Even the buddy system with a friend, neighbor, or relative can provide just the needed amount of oomph/accountability/consistency. 

I share this with you all because there should be no shame attached to asking for help.  Remember, you are living your life this very moment. It doesn’t start on Monday, after graduation, next season, or after you lose 10 lbs. SO: treat yourself with kindness and compassion (that means your body and your soul) and if you want to make a change, know that you’re responsible for the hard work BUT it’s ok to ask for help.  Really.