Author: smrtrainingllc

Rejection

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Last night I was faced with rejection. I was rejected for something I REALLY wanted and had worked hard towards (and I had received lots of help from others to try and get there). 
Yet there is a lot I’m thankful for:

– I’m thankful for the network of people I have willing to help me work towards a goal – that’s an extraordinarily cool thing. 

– I’m thankful that I am passionate enough about something that it inspired me to put myself out there and really try. 

– I’m thankful that there is someone MORE qualified than I for this thing. 
What is/was it? A scholarship to attend a weeklong training event in Big Sky, Montana for a woman in Snowsports instruction whose passion and drive inspires and encourages other women. 
While my entry didn’t ‘win’, getting to pursue my lifelong passion of sliding on snow – and sharing it with others – makes me an incredibly fortunate woman. If you have been curious about why I do what I do (and have somehow missed all of my other posts and blogs on the topic), check out my letter of intent for the scholarship application for a peek into why I still consider myself so lucky:
Send me to National Academy

OR SOMEONE BETTER, PLEASE. 

Rucker, Shannon | Nancy Oakes Hall Scholarship | 2018/2019

A Little About Me

​One of my earliest childhood memories is on a ski lift. I was 5 and it was 1989. I could feel the vibration and hum from the motor reverberating against my helmet as I leaned against the bar. The brilliance of the sun reflecting from the snow crystals on the ground sparkling like scattered diamonds in a field of blanketed forest. The hint of evergreen in my nose, a welcome bouquet brought on the crisp, frigid wings of a cold, pure air that is only felt in winter. The sensation of air tingling your skin with the electric joy that sliding on snow in the outdoors brings.

​I’ve now been sliding on snow for 30 years – which astounds me. There is little else in life that ignites the passion, wonder, and genuine gratitude for the confluence of life, environment, and beauty that it does. It’s the purest thrill I’ve experienced. And the only thing I’ve found consistently better than all of that…is introducing and sharing it with others. Every time I teach a beginner lesson it’s like inviting children into the wardrobe that takes them to Narnia or the train at the 9 ¾ station that goes to Hogwarts – witnessing their wonderment at the realm they didn’t know to dream about. And it doesn’t matter if they’re 6 or 60. Each time I facilitate an “Aha!” moment I experience a joy that enriches my soul.

​I’ve been teaching snowsliding for 10 years. Everything I’m exposed to, glean, and learn…every triumph, failure, and disaster…every friendship, mentorship, and leadership shown and given…I will share if and when it benefits others. I will coach. It is my essence.  

​I’m a “part timer”, and as such, part of me assumes this scholarship might be more beneficial for a full timer – someone who earns their living from this crazy realm of snow instruction. However; there’s a larger part that sees my drive, ambition, and perseverance as a part timer as a genuine reason TO go:

– Generally working 120 days straight without one off between my ‘real job’ and my ‘snow job’.

– Using my paid time off from my ‘real job’ to work my snow job on busy days, to attend events for my personal and professional betterment, and to get ahead of DC traffic enough to make the 120 mile round trip to my home resort to lead evening clinics once or twice a month.

– Attaining my AASI/FS 1, CS2, and Alpine II while juggling 3 jobs and life.

– Taking on every additional opportunity to be a contributing member and ambassador of our organization, profession, and snow in general.

– Continuing to find new avenues to enhance our Organization (with becoming a member of NextCore this year in the East)

I believe this type of commitment and passion is exactly who this scholarship is intended for and further helps me in my goals of making snow a larger and larger part of my ‘main gig’.

Why This Event

​The allure. My ski school director (who also happens to be one of my biggest snow and life mentors, Steve Martin, who graciously agreed to write one of my required letters of recommendation), told me that National Academy is the best skiing, and ski teaching event he has ever attended.  

​I’ve gone to Pro Jam here in the East every year since becoming a member. It’s a consistent highlight of my season. The comradery, the instruction, the devoted time to my own individual improvement, the ability to improve my teaching and contribute to a group’s improvement, and the exposure to other professionals and leadership in the organization renews my passion, pushes my boundaries, and I leave better than I come every year: as a skier, as a teacher, as a friend and as a promoter of winter and our industry.

​I save every year, find ways to cut costs, prepare my own meals, share rooms, carpool up, and commit to going to Pro Jam because I have first-hand knowledge of the instrumental role it plays in my development each season. I’ve dreamed of going to National Academy but have never been able to swing it financially because of the added cost of travel (it’d be a LOT of time off from my real job to drive out at the end of a season when I typically use the majority of my paid time off to work my part time job and I just can’t manage the cost of flight, baggage, and ground transportation in addition to the buy-in….even if I were to sacrifice Pro Jam) When I saw this scholarship announced, I felt the energy begin to build – maybe this is my chance to go!

Where am I going?

In addition to my drive for self-betterment, I also have an overwhelming desire to give back. To share what I know, have experienced, and observed to allow others to achieve their goals and potential. During my last season at the mountain, I made the basics of my plan for working towards my Alpine Level III – that’s my next medium term goal. My plan was what many would call unconventional:  

– I didn’t do an exam prep.  

– I didn’t take the gateway to dynamic skiing event.  

– I didn’t drill all day every day.  

Instead I decided I needed to expand my fundamental understanding and application of snow principles:  

– I went for (and attained) my AASI/FS-1.  

– I took on a ‘pet project’ of a fellow instructor who really wanted to obtain his AASI Level II.  

– Along the way I also picked up my CS2

– I began leading more staff clinics.  

I believe that what I learned will serve as a great foundation in the pursuit of my Level III Certification. Coaching is coaching and fundamentals are fundamentals. Expanding my knowledge base, pushing my own boundaries (180s still make me squeal every time), and really spending focused time honing my eye for movement analysis helped cement for me where I want to go – to develop so I can help more sliders in more ways.  

The capstone of my entire last season was at Killington in March when my ‘pet’ project went nine for nine at his AASI exam! At that same time, they offered a Level III, part 2 PSIA exam. I knew my skiing wasn’t up to par which I thought would limit my chances for success (tough to pass if your demos aren’t at the standard) but I signed up for the exam anyway. In the end I was not successful but had the opportunity to take in one more exam setting, be exposed to more instructors, and walked away with some really good feedback from my examiners and a solid idea of what my next season (this one) should entail.

This season I’ve already attended Pro Jam, been very active with the new NextCore group in the East, and begun taking on additional responsibilities and ownership of growing and advancing our Division and profession out here. I’ve made new connections with office staff, connected with teachers from other mountains, and spearheaded a new clinic idea for my home mountain (“Equipment Basics 101” which I recognized as a need when I was surprised by the difference in “Pro Know” I saw between our ski side and snowboard side – newer snowboard members have a much better grasp of equipment and how it functions at my mountain). I did all of this prior to our mountain even opening for the season.

​I’m not afraid to put myself out there. To share my experiences with others to help them. To truly triumph when others succeed. I’d like this opportunity to continue to advance myself in these ways and I believe an investment in me will ultimately only be an investment in the organization and industry. Ultimately, I’d love to make it to Ed Staff and eventually turn snow into a “full time” endeavor. In the meantime I’m going to continue working to be the best instructor and member I can be.

Other stuff you didn’t know you wanted to know

​I am a very high energy individual. My excitement and energy bubbles out in everything I do: coaching at the gym, managing a Team of nine at the office, and especially with kids on our mountain. I’ve been accused of being infectiously happy. One of the side effects of this is my drive to share. When I can’t share by DOING, I write. I’ve included the link to my Blog along with the Ski Divas Blog Site I contribute to so you can check out some of what I have to say:

https://smrtraining.co/

– https://smrtraining.co/2018/10/21/i-cant/

– https://smrtraining.co/2015/02/27/helping-other-up/

 

http://divaskitips.blogspot.com/

– http://divaskitips.blogspot.com/2018/01/why-am-i-doing-this.html

– http://divaskitips.blogspot.com/2018/03/the-journey-for-level-3-part-1.html

 

I also was featured in the Member Spotlight a few years back in 32 Degrees – check it out if you want to see how I’ve grown (well mostly become an older version of myself anyway):

http://www.thesnowpros.org/news/id/718/member-spotlight-eastern-divisions-shannon-rucker

 

 

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Musings of a 35 year old at Christmas

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– I now understand why my grandfather listened to the oldies on our ski trip road trips – when I turn on the radio ‘my jam’ is never on the ‘normal’ stations anymore. 

– I have caught myself saying both: 

“You got so big! You must have grown a foot!” And “Where does the time go!?” In the last month. 
– I have legitimately asked for socks for Christmas and will be excited if I get them. 
– I believe Christmas lights will always make me feel appreciative and optimistic. It’s still a fairly weird tradition though: 

“How should we celebrate the birth of our savior now that we have electricity at home?”

Answer = “Vomit the electricity on the outside of the house where it’s likely to get wet. And put it up high. No higher. Like on the roof. Jesus would really like that shit.”

But I guess most traditions are pretty weird. 
– Christmas countdown calendars still make me smile. As does remembering brutally fighting my brother for the right to move the mouse on Christmas Eve…
– I have many gifts in my life: my health, employment x3 and tomorrow x4, health insurance, food, and a warm and dry place to sleep. 

My greatest gift however; remains the caliber of people in my life. The family, friends, and loved ones I’ve woven across the world through snow, rugby, gym, work, scuba, LS, online, and other shenanigans. They enrich my life and and soul. 

I’m fortunate to be able to spend a day with the family who’s known me the longest: the ones who birthed and raised me. Not everyone has that luxury and it’s not one I’m taking lightly this year. Looking forward to Christmas. 
My resolution for 2019 is to leave each person I have the honor of interacting with in a better place than how I found them. 
Happy holidays all. 

2018/2019 ProJam kickoff

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I’ve had some mental ups and downs as this season begins: Excitement, nerves, financial concern, jealousy, fomo, happiness, etc. Last night sort of gelled my overall belief system about snow sports instruction. Please allow me to share it with you. 

I stopped in PA to see my family who’s up from FL. Spent the night at my sisters and will be continuing on to VT today in order to attend ProJam this week. I bunked on her couch and had a dream about ProJam. 
In the dream, the snow was amazing. People were skiing phenomenally. And my eyes were like microscopes: I could see every nuance to the examiners, national team members, and masters academy skiing. I decided with my super power eyes that instead of my normal Wednesday optional session, I would take the Wednesday afternoon session for video of my skiing. 
When I got and saw the footage of myself…I was initially a bit shocked: I was so far away from the level 3 standard (not that I know even exactly where that line is). Everything I thought felt SO athletic and dynamic and dialed in….was instead like watching a junior high level athlete compared to a pro. 
BUT my reaction in my dream was not one of being crestfallen or of heartbreak. Instead, I was EXCITED at the progress I saw I had made from years past. I felt PROUD of all I had learned and that my eye had now developed to a point where I could see the changes I needed to make from the video compared to the other accomplished skiers on the mountain I had been watching. I felt a calm sense of RESOLVE to continuing my path and I felt a genuine feeling of gratitude for all I knew I would learn and experience along the rest of my journey. 
Disappointment is a legitimate feeling. All your feelings are legitimate. I’m not sitting here to tell you that if you fail an exam (or if/when I fail an exam) that you shouldn’t feel disappointed or sad or even angry for a while. Feel those emotions. But then try to shift the perspective once the feeling has passed. Look at all you’ve accomplished and you’ll get to experience along the rest of your journey. 
I’ll often have beginner students in a class who could become frustrated by having one turn be less strong than another, or by having more struggles finding balance as they slide than someone else in the group. I try to take opportunities to point out things they’re doing well and things they’ve accomplished. After the first 3-4 turns on the beginner hill…I always have the group look back uphill to where they started and point out what they’ve conquered so far.
While I can’t always keep perfect perspective, that dream was a very timely reminder for me of all I’ve accomplished and all I’ll get to experience. It put me in the perfect mindset for ProJam and to really get my season underway. 

Let’s get real

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Twice in the last few weeks the term ‘real’ has come up for me. In a @GirlsGoneStrong post, Molly Galbraith told us if there was a woman we admired – to tell her. I took a moment to tell a snow colleague of mine who brought me into fitness instruction and health consulting that I admire her tenacity, expertise, and mad pull-up skills (in spite of her numerous shoulder surgery set backs). 1*

She returned with a genuine compliment that she appreciates me “for being real.”
I’ve heard this descriptor (and the words genuine and authentic) a fair amount. I always have mixed emotions about them. While I certainly suffered from “FONFI” (the fear of not fitting in) as an adolescent and young adult, I’ve never seemed to have the same degree of concern as many. This has (in part) allowed me to experience an extraordinary amount of life that others shy away from. 

While I treasure being told I’m viewed and seen as authentic and real, I am always partially heartbroken at how many times and in how many different ways people limit their actions, opportunities, and personality from the fear of being judged or failing. 

SO I am going to take a few minutes to share ways I think about things (and others) that allow me to accept (them and myself) for exactly who and where we are. I do this in the hopes of further creating an environment, culture, and society that encourages people to celebrate who they are and support them in their journeys of who they become over time. 
Looks

I am a beautiful person (and so are you!). Whether it’s my smile, the ways my eyes light up, the concern I have for another’s well being, the way my butt looks in these pants, or that my body is capable of enormous feats….I am undeniably beautiful. 

Whether my ‘normal’ pants fit, that I have a mole on my nose like a witch, or that I sweat profusely when I train it in NO way diminishes that fact. Don’t let perceived flaws or the fear of how others view you negatively impact your life. 

This is by no means how I feel 100% of the time – I struggle also. BUT I work extraordinarily hard at not allowing my ‘off days’ (or weeks/months) control my overall view of myself or worth. 

Looking/Sounding Dumb or Silly

I am TERRIBLE at a lot of things. I know way LESS than so many people on so many subjects. There are so many things I’ve never tried or experienced or have any awareness about. 
Life can be so amazing though if you experience it. But you have to try. Even if you’re going to be bad at it and/or look silly. Children rarely refuse an opportunity, an experience, or a chance to play and look at how fast they grow and learn and how exciting it is to be around them. It can be exhausting for us if we’re out of practice.  

If there’s something you’re interested in trying or doing…give it a shot. BE THE TODDLER! And laugh when you’re terrible. I took up rugby in my 30’s. I have terrible hands and laughable throws and still struggle with the rules and strategy. But I’ve become a solid tackler, the practices and games are good for my heart and lungs, and I’ve met a ton of great people – many of whom are great friends now. So put yourself out there to others and you’ll see them do the same with you. 

Struggles
We’ve all got them. Every successful, talented, gorgeous human you see or meet has difficulties. 

I have relationship problems. I’m divorced. I have days where I hate my job. I struggle with finances. I’ve (in the last 2 years) experienced bouts with depression and anxiety. I sometimes act impulsively and selfishly. Sometimes I eat like crap, don’t exercise much, and drink too much. I don’t call my friends and family as much as I should. 

And you know what? I’m still me. And I’m always working to cause a little less harm, to do a little more good, and to be a little more accepting. 

Others struggle with torn families, disease, infertility, addiction, racism, etc. 

There’s no destination. It’s a journey. If you accept yourself today – right where you are now – you’ll be surprised at how much more you can do. You may even find that others will be drawn to you because they see elements of themselves in you. And that’s not to say that you have to air all your dirty laundry. Being private is ok. Just try not to deny pieces of you because they help make you the awesome person you are. 
In closing:

I would love to see more people who feel comfortable being real. Being genuine. Being authentic. 

So be you. Be the badass mom. Be the car guy. Be the nerdy scientist. Be the shitty cook. Be the terrible parker. Be the movie aficionado. Be the comedian. But be. In all your glory and faults. 

 “Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”

-Dr. Seuss 

1*: *kudos to Jean Wu Lam for inspiring it*

I can’t. 

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“I can’t.”These are my 2 least favorite words. Especially as a teacher or coach. (I’m also going to be using these words interchangeably throughout this piece).

When you teach a lesson, clinic, certification program, or are merely answering a question from a buddy….there are times when these words pop up. There is no condition, illness, or environment more devastating than the “I can’t” affliction. 
It’s quite possible this affliction is the roadblock stopping you from achieving your goals. This affliction is easily treated though through simple mental shifts. My job as a coach is to try and lead you through your brain maze when it keeps putting up “I can’t” roadblocks. 


While I consider them helpful in any area, they came to mind as the temps drop I gear up for SNOW! Here are a few quick ways to shift your perspective and cure you of that dreaded “I can’t disease”:

– “I can’t, yet” – adding this 3 letter word takes something from an impossibility to an eventuality. The subtle shift in language translates big time in attitude. It’s important to remember that the loftier the goal, the more involved the prep is and that can impact the length of time to get there. It’s important to set milestone goals within our big/long term goals. 
– “Is there another way to accomplish this same thing differently?” – many of us struggle with injuries, physical limitations, or conditions. But there is almost ALWAYS another way to skin the cat (what a weird saying). If you’ve got a bum ankle, crappy depth perception, or lack strength in an arena – there’s probably a way to modify the activity or achieve the end result. That being said, certain goals require certain fundamentals – but don’t worry if you don’t possess those. You just don’t possess them yet. There’s a lot of (damn near) magic occurring in the realms of science, medicine, physical therapy, chiropractors, rehab, and strength and conditioning. Find the support/team to help get you to your goals – sometimes it takes a village. 
–  “That wasn’t it – but let me try it again” – when learning something new….you should have an expectation that you’ll need to work on it. You might need to work on it a LOT to make even a little progress. If you start the session by accepting that there’s likely to be repeated failures BUT with a commitment to continue trying anyway – it’s a game changer. 
–  “I can’t today” – it’s normal to get frustrated. Or tired. Or hungry. Or a combination (maybe that’s just me). When used sensibly to throw the towel in for safety or sanity, a time out is a perfectly acceptable tool while working towards your goal. 
The above list is certainly not all encompassing but if it saves me hearing (or saying) “I can’t” even once this year, then it was well worth it. Be aware of your obstacles. Especially if you’re the one building them. 

Boxing felt like getting hit by a train – you should try it! No, really!

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This weekend I had the pleasure of attending the Level 1 and Level 2 boxing certifications taught by the renowned Tony Jeffries (Olympic boxing bronze medalist) and Glenn Holmes (celebrity trainer) of California based Box ‘n Burn. 

Although I’ve dabbled in a number of sports and athletic endeavors AND coached for 8 years, I’ve never really had the pleasure of getting wrapped, strapping on the gloves, and getting busy. Over the 2 days I learned an incredible amount of information, technique, and tips from some of the most skilled coaches in the country. 
It also kicked my ass. Boxing worked my arms, shoulders, and cardiovascular system as you might expect. It also worked my back, lats, core, legs, calves, and probably most of all: my brain. Yup. All of me. To the point where I wasn’t sure I could get out of bed this morning. And I couldn’t be happier. 
Boxing made me feel powerful. There’s something that makes you feel badass when you put wraps on. That feeling intensifies the first time you land a really solid hit, nail a new punch or combo, or successfully roll away from a ‘hit’ from the mitts (mitts = when your coach mimics live fighting 1:1 with you and you have to think and react on your feet…literally). Plus hitting things makes you feel really, really good!
I think we could all stand exposure to things that make us feel a little more capable and strong. Boxing does that while also providing challenge and allowing self growth. If you’re excited, if you’re nervous, if you’re horribly out of shape, if you’re in great shape, if you’ve never done it before, or if you want to get back into it….boxing for fitness is a great thing to incorporate in your routine. If you’re not sure how or where to get started – shoot me a message – even if you’re not in my area! I’ve now got a network of pro’s and can help find you the right fit. 
P.S. – Don’t worry about being sore – my certification was an intense 2 day event for professionals…when we introduce you to it, you’ll just be happily tired and not trainkill (train roadkill)!
#blackoutboxing #boxnburn #hitstuff #fitness #gym #exercise #therapy #tysonsplayground #fitness4everybody #rocky #recovery

America

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America God Damn do I love this country. 

My country and (presumably) yours. 


As an American – I value you. Your thoughts, your contributions, your values. We likely differ on a number of issues – I’ve yet to find the human who thinks exactly the same as me. 
I’m here to tell you that I care about your voice all the same. If it weren’t for people who thought differently than me – and their willingness to continue speaking up – I wouldn’t be who I am today. 

What I’m afraid of is that I’ll stop listening. And that everyone else will too. Many already have. Maybe we’ll forget what it’s like to be one with everyone around you as a result of horror. Maybe we’ll forget how dramatically this country will allow you the freedom to change your life (in either direction). Maybe we’ll forget what it’s like to see another. 
So when I hear you say “Fuck Nike” – I promise to work to hear what you mean…which is (I assume) that you deeply value our military and specifically those who have lost their lives in service of our country. I do too. And I understand that you find failing to stand for our anthem disrespectful. I get that – I do. 

Here’s what I ask of you: to listen to what someone else is telling you as well. There is a reason they’ve chosen this media. There’s a reason you are UPSET by their decisions. Why are they (he) doing this? What are they (he) trying to tell me/us?
He’s trying to tell us a thing that isn’t recognized when peaceful protests go on in DC, or at city council meetings, or through activists lobbying Congress. We don’t hear him there. We don’t see him there. 
So few people in this country are willing to consider that people of color are treated disparately in this country that one of the ONLY reliable ways to bring attention to it is by doing so in a LOUD manner.
What’s loud enough to maybe make someone listen? Choosing not to stand during what Americans value: the national anthem during NFL games.
Why does this matter? Why should you care? Why even TRY to listen to someone who would act SO disrespectfully?

Bc you likely can’t name another person who tried to bring attention to this issue. This issue that affects so many people. For so many decades. That costs people their lives. That requires parents of children of color to teach them special ways to act in order to stay alive. 
Here. In America. 

I would never dare presume to know a Veteran’s opinions. Because each Veteran has their own set. But what I do presume…is that you would not like being told there is only one way to believe/act/raise children in this country. Only one voice to listen to. 

As such…I think we all have a responsibility to consider if our values need to be revisited….if not, then at least to consider why another person is speaking. And maybe – just maybe – to listen to understand what it is they have to say. 
Whether the topic is peaceful protest, corporate abuse and maltreatment of workers, animal cruelty, women’s reproductive health, responsible fiscal spending, our education system, or anything else – I will keep trying to listen. All I ask is that you try too. Because at the end of the day: you’re an American. And if we don’t embrace that, then others will leverage it as a wedge to divide us. Like they intended to 17 years ago. 
So on this anniversary – I promise you, as an American, that I will listen. With an intent to understand. 

Holiday Loneliness, Anxiety, and Cheer

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It’s my favorite time of the year: fall. 
And really fall. When the weather starts to turn colder and the last of the beautiful foliage is falling off the trees in anticipation of winter. I’m filled with anticipation for ski season: planning my season, cramming last minute conditioning, and chasing snow when and where I can before the MidAtlantic’s season gets underway. 
I just came off a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday home with family after what I can only call my single greatest year of personal growth. This followed what was likely my single most challenging year as an adult. 
I had an incredible rarity this weekend: no scheduled work. So I took advantage by getting my hair cut, spending a Saturday night having drinks and playing board games with friends, and I had BIG Christmas plans for Sunday. 
My plan was to listen to Christmas music, binge holiday movies, and decorate my place. I was really looking forward to this as it would be my first year decorating a place of my very own. Since I moved out of my childhood home I have always had roommates, husband, or a boyfriend who helped decorate. The day started well: I pulled out the decorations while in PJs and hit my first hurdle: no tree. Shit. 

(I didn’t have a lot of room in my new place and hadn’t kept my previous fake tree when I moved.)
Nothing to fear. I could get another one. So I dove into the other decorations. I started with lighting up my balcony. As I was stringing I started to sweat a little and came to the realization that I’ve never put up lights. Lights were always “the man’s” job. Not that I had ever verbalized that (and isn’t that a weird gender role I’ve adopted in my life?) But as a child, my dad did it. As an adult, it was always my significant other. 
That’s when I had the the first major descent on what became an emotional roller coaster of a journey decorating for Christmas: I don’t have a husband. I don’t have my old house. I don’t have my old tree. Ooph. 
I very nearly decided I wasn’t going to decorate this year. After all…I don’t decorate every year. I spend a lot of time away from home in December every year, and there’s a lot to clean up. Then I thought: fuck that. 
I was looking forward to this. I like decorating for Christmas. 
I finished the lights and moved into the house. I cleaned and decorated and made a sandwich. I felt pretty good and took a nap. When I woke up I knew it was tree time. 
I was not looking forward to this. This would require pants. And public. And people. 
I suddenly felt fragile and very aware that this will be my first Christmas as a divorced woman. Someone who failed at marriage. At ‘till death do you part’. The guilt began seeping in like it sometimes does. I allowed myself to sit and feel it. Analyze it. The guilt didn’t feel right after a few minutes. It left me. But because I was open to actually experiencing my feelings, it wasn’t shoved back down somewhere…it actually felt resolved. 
Then I felt sad. So I sat and allowed myself to feel it. To grieve for the loss of my marriage. When I stopped feeling it so much…I put on my shoes and went to the car. 
I braved Home Depot. With its Black Friday weekend crowds. I’m not sure I’ve yet shared win y’all…but I dislike shopping. And crowds. And crowded shopping most of all. But I sucked it up and went in. I looked at fake trees. The ones in my price range looked terrible. So instead I bought a stand and a 6’ tall real pine. They trimmed and bundled it for me and even secured it to my roof (Home Depot and it’s employees were all rockstars honestly). 
I drove home with it. I set my place and the stand up and then I checked out the luggage cart from the front desk (I live in a big apartment building). I took the tree down off my roof and loaded it onto the cart (yay for being strong!). Everyone I encountered in the hallways and elevator seemed happier after seeing my tree and their happiness and smiles began making me happier. 
I strung the lights. I put the ornaments on. And now I’m laying in bed looking at my tree, patio, and apartment lit up with holiday cheer. I feel optimistic.
I won’t have the Holidays I maybe would have. Things may not go the way I envision or plan them. But life continues. And it often turns out pretty damn awesome. 
Sometimes you need to sit and feel the grief. Sometimes you need to go do the thing you don’t want to. Sometimes at the end of a day of feeling sad and alone (and braving Home Depot), you end up with a warm, cozy place of your very own . Sometimes all of that allows you to move to a place where you can feel the other things. Right now I feel thankful for my friends, family, coworkers, and those who love me. 

Stress, change, and growth

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Today I showed up at my training facility like I do many mornings. Instead of leading a class, training a client, or knocking out the programming my coach gave me though…I was there to attend class. It’s been a long time (other than continuing education classes for certification) since I afforded myself that opportunity and I have to say I’m really pleased about it.
Those who know me well know I’ve had a pretty radical year. For those of you who don’t: I’ve changed jobs, had major changes within my organization since taking the new job, moved, and had some other pretty impactful personal life changes. While all of these decisions and changes have ultimately been for the best, they create a large amount of stress.
People all react to stress and major life changes differently. I have a close friend at work who regularly told me over the last year ‘I don’t know how you’re handling all of this so well’. The truth is I wasn’t necessarily (for me) but how I coped with the ‘stress’ might look different than how someone else does.
I utilized a number of ‘escapes’ to get me through the stress. Some of these weren’t the best choices for me:

-Drinking more than usual (and I’m a pretty regular drinker)

-Making consistently poor food choices and eating out a lot

-Not getting consistent, adequate sleep
Some were choices that tend to work well for me:

-Challenging myself and thriving at work

-Continuing to train/exercise (albeit not with the consistency or intensity I have in past years)

-Reconnecting with friends and family I had been isolating myself from
When faced with a stressful environment, situation, or transition, it can be easy to beat yourself up and feel like ‘everything has gone to hell, why even bother?’ I’m proud of myself for not allowing that to occur and for working through my stress and transitions in the way I did. I not only survived the transitions but I learned a lot and grew as a person as well.
I am valuable and worthy (regardless that I gained a few lbs and made some decisions that weren’t best for me). I’m compassionate enough to myself to know that I made some really good and hard decisions as well. I also know that as my stress level diminishes it will be easier for me to take better care of myself (Maslow’s hierarchy).
By attending class today, I was able to relax, learn, share in some camaraderie, and do something good for myself without the stress of figuring it out on my own or going it alone. I also have the experience to know that where I am isn’t a place I have to stay and that small, consistent changes over time really make a difference.
I encourage you all to do your version of attending class. Something good for you that feels reassuring. That reinforces you’re valuable and worthy. That helps remind you you’ve got a 100% success rate of waking up and making it through the day.

It’s ok to ask for help

~ smrtrainingllc ~ Leave a comment

It’s ok to ask for help

  

As a trainer I encounter people who often beat themselves up about not being able to stick to a diet, re-gaining weight they lost, or not working out consistently. While there can be benefits to being honest and realistic with yourself about your situation and weaknesses, those benefits can quickly be overrun by negatives if you allow them to. Look at any successful CEO or business owner and you’ll see a commonality: they surround themselves with people who can help them achieve their goals…especially in arenas in which they struggle. ‘Idea guys’ need a logistics person, ‘Engineer types’ need a people person, etc. I’m speaking in stereotypical generalities…but you get the point. Additionally, just because you know ‘what’ to do, it isn’t always easy to translate that into actually doing it. 

So when I meet someone who is successful at work and manages a family and hobbies but who expresses such frustration over not being able to control their nutrition, their workouts, or their weight…the solution seems simple to me: they need help. 

Help can come in the form of a nutritionist, a dietician, a personal trainer, Weight Watchers, beach body, a food logging program, a workout buddy, etc. What all of these things provide is accountability. Accountability is incredibly helpful during times of change and stress and let’s face it: changing a habit is stressful (even when it’s for the best). 

Our body reacts the same way whether we’re starting a new school, new job, moved homes, changed sleep schedules, get married, get divorced, or are introducing new nutrition and workout patterns into our lives. It’s something new. Something out of pattern. Something unusual. In short, it’s stressful. People (and living creatures in general) don’t naturally like that. When ‘stress’ occurs, we crave comfort. Something stable. Something we ‘know’. For so many of us, that’s food. Or sitting on the couch watching Netflix. Or a cocktail after a stressful day. 

So if the very change you’re trying to make is something you’ve turned to for weeks or months or years FOR COMFORT, then it’s a very difficult to change that very behavior. Even if it’s healthier for us in the long term.This is where accountability comes in. You need someone or something to help reinforce this ‘stress’ as something to endure until it becomes a habit/pattern and your body (and mind) accepts it as the new normal. 

This is why I’m not ashamed to ask for help (and you shouldn’t be either). After years of changing my lifestyle to a healthier, more fulfilling one, you would think I have this process down and wouldn’t need outside assistance, but you’re wrong. I’ve trained for and competed in bodybuilding competitions, strength competitions, and a marathon. I’m a personal and group fitness trainer and I help others meet their fitness and health goals. And I still ask for help. 

For each bodybuilding contest, I’ve hired a coach. For my Tactical Strength Challenges, I had a coach. For my first few strongman contests, I had what I refer to as ‘my 3 dads’ (experienced, knowledgeable, and selfless individuals who trained with me, watched technique, and helped me mentally prepare). Now make no mistake, I still did the heavy lifting (literally and figuratively). But it made all the difference in the world to have someone planning the strategy, someone who could help take the guesswork out of it and could tell me simply what to do and when. 

Specifically: after taking a year off after my last bodybuilding show to focus on growing additional muscle and strength, I happened upon strongman and became very intrigued by it and have (for the time being) decided to focus on it. I’ve been training for strongman for the past 6 months or so and its gone well. I took that time to figure out what was involved with the sport, what my natural strengths and weaknesses were, and where I fell along the competitive spectrum. 

During the past year and a half I’ve also enjoyed not having a physique based deadline looming over my head and have been indulging quite a bit. Unfortunately, without that deadline (or any real supervision) I went from enjoying occasional indulgences (but still listening to what makes my body happy) to over-indulging as a ‘norm’ instead of an exception. As a result, I gained fat, don’t fit in my pants as well, and I don’t feel good on a cellular level. 

When I came to this realization, I was approaching my most recent strongman contest and I decided that after my contest I would look to transition back to doing what makes me feel good on a regular basis while working to continue my growth in strongman. It made sense to me to ask for help with that. Currently I spend a lot of time working, training, and developing plans for others.  This is in addition to work and family.  It is easiest for me to take the nutrition and programming off my plate AND to have someone to hold me accountable. 

Additionally, I’m still new to strongman (and to serious strength training in general). I decided it’s a much better investment to hire a coach to do both for me. And that’s what I’ve done. I’m 6 days into phase one with my coach and excited, happy, and motivated. I’m not beating myself up, I’m not worried about results because I know I can trust him (as long as I follow the damn instructions), and the relief it has given me that I’m DOING something about it has been immense. While not everyone is in a position to hire a coach or trainer or nutritionist, there are other options. There are online coaching programs, groups that meet for regular exercise, Facebook accountability groups, challenges with fitbits, etc. Even the buddy system with a friend, neighbor, or relative can provide just the needed amount of oomph/accountability/consistency. 

I share this with you all because there should be no shame attached to asking for help.  Remember, you are living your life this very moment. It doesn’t start on Monday, after graduation, next season, or after you lose 10 lbs. SO: treat yourself with kindness and compassion (that means your body and your soul) and if you want to make a change, know that you’re responsible for the hard work BUT it’s ok to ask for help.  Really.