strength

Kidney donation (part 6 – surgery & beyond)

~ smrtrainingllc ~ Leave a comment

Wow. I woke up the first time Tuesday 3/23/21 with both kidneys and went to sleep for the night with one.

Here’s my surgery and post surgery updates so far:

Tuesday pre surgery: arrived at the hospital and checked in. Was brought back very quickly and provided my beautiful gown and yellow socks. Had an IV put in and was deemed eligible for a nerve block (this really helps the pain level in recovery). Got pushed the anesthesia and went away. They then spent time positioning my body, installing a 2nd IV while I was asleep, and installing my catheter. They got to work and active surgery time was approx 90 minutes.

Tuesday post surgery: I “woke up” in the recovery room. This was the most pain I experienced. Was here for 3-4 hours and they gave me really great, fast acting pain killers. Around 3:30pm, I was moved to my hospital room. After the nurses did their initial evaluation, my visitor was able to come see me. I was pretty thirsty and started drinking water. Dinner was clear liquids (yay ice pops for dinner).

Wednesday: Catheter removed (this went way better than I was afraid!). Transitioned from the pain button to oral pain meds. Told to get up and start walking! Allowed to eat real foods which I enjoyed immensely.

Thursday: Got the ok to go home! Was taking very little pain medication other than extra strength Tylenol at this point. Also got the ok to visit my recipient!! This was the highlight of my stay. The drive home required a few stops to ensure the risk of clots was reduced and because Pennsylvania’s 78 sucks from a surface perspective.

Saturday: I’m back home. Comfortably watching tv, reading, and scrolling my phone. The only pain killer I need currently is Tylenol. I’m eating normally, drinking lots of fluid, and today I took a (slow) half mile walk to the mailbox and back.

Following Thursday: Had my post op follow up. Everything looks great. Reminded not to do anything strenuous for 6-8 weeks post surgery but encouraged to continue walking as much as desired. My donor is expected to be released tomorrow. I go back to work Monday.

Please consider live donation.

Are there considerations? Of course.

Is everyone a suitable candidate? No.

But my gosh – this process has been absurdly simple and easy from my perspective and experience.

⁃ No major, long term lifestyle adjustments for me.

⁃ Short hospital stint followed by home recovery.

⁃ Donor’s do not use their own insurance for this.

⁃ I’ll be back to work in no time. 2 weeks off total (although some need closer to 4 and strenuous jobs will need 8) and I was covered under short term disability.

The payoff? Life.

I met a former recipient at my follow up appointment. He had received his kidney 12 years ago and he expressed such immense gratitude to me for donating upon meeting me and shared what it had done for his life.

I’ve talked to friends who have either received an organ, donated an organ, or had a loved one receive an organ – there is such need and such an amazing payoff.

While the kidney is the most commonly donated organ, other organs you can make a living donation of include your liver (it regenerates), your pancreas, your lung, or a portion of your intestines.

If an organ is intimidating – I encourage you to do something. Donate blood, platelets, bone, bone marrow, skin, time, or money.

Please consider being an organ donor and ensure your family is aware of your desires.

If you have ANY questions – hit me up. I’m more than happy to answer any of them!

DO SOMETHING

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Today I was uncomfortable.

Do Something

I found myself doing something I’ve never felt compelled to do before: PROTEST.

I protested systemic racism and inequalities.

I protested the unexamined bias and privilege that contributes to and allows it to continue.

I protested the abhorrent and persistent treatment of blacks by racist cops.

Most importantly:I protested the horrific murder of George Floyd at the hands of a fellow American who had sworn to serve and protect his community in Minneapolis.

(My stop by the MLK memorial prior to joining the protest)

The questions and doubt riddled me with uncertainty and several times I nearly bailed before arriving (and once immediately after arriving).

– How do I find them?

– Will I belong there?

– Where do I stand?

– What do I say?

– Do I need a sign?

– Will it be dangerous?

– How long do I stay?


Then as I rounded the corner, I heard them. I felt the strength of their voices shaking and charging the air as it thudded against my chest while they chanted:


“What do we want?” – “Justice!”

“When do we want it?” – “Now!”


I skirted the crowd and initially watched from a few different viewpoints. The protestors were spread on the sidewalk on the north side of Lafayette Park (which was closed Saturday during nighttime protests)*

(A later chant of “George Floyd” as I was leaving)


Men, women, children. Blacks, whites, Hispanics, people of middle eastern, and more. Most wearing masks. Many had signs or shirts for the protest. Many had nothing.

It dawned on me that I was now “viewing” instead of participating in the very protest I had been so moved to join.
Because I was uncomfortable.

I remembered some of George Floyd’s last words:

“Momma, I’m through”

“Please, help”

“I can’t breathe”


I remembered this isn’t about me. I joined the group. I chanted. I clapped. I was angry. I was heart broken. I won’t pretend to know how others feel. I was happy so many people felt the same compulsion I did to DO SOMETHING.


Many people are angry but are getting hung up because they’re unsure what can be done. They’re afraid that things will return to the status quo again tomorrow.They’re afraid that because some protestors vandalized property that the cause isn’t worthwhile anymore? (people who believe this one still confuses me).


I’m here telling you to forget whatever your objections are and DO SOMETHING!

Not sure where to start?Here are 5 things you can do right now:

  1.  Google “How to be a better ally”
  2. Take this quiz from Harvard to determine your unconscious biases https://www.tolerance.org/professional-development/test-yourself-for-hidden-bias (and then work to address and change them!)
  3. Call out problematic language and behavior every time you hear it
  4. Read a book about privilege (Ideally written by a POC – person of color)
  5. If you have black friends (or other marginalized and discriminated against groups): listen to them. Read what they’re posting and sharing. 

I’m not an expert. I don’t have all the answers and I make mistakes all the time. Case in point: me making this protest about myself by initially focusing on my discomfort. And if I screwed something up here – point it out to me so I can be better.


But I’m working to be better every day. I’m working to honor the work done by others in this space. I’m working to change our country to one where parents of black children don’t have to have “the talk”. I’m working to prevent a murder like George Floyd’s from ever occurring again.

I challenge you to DO SOMETHING.

*For those unfamiliar: this is the area you see on tv during many Washington, DC protests with a view of the Whitehouse.

Let’s get real

~ smrtrainingllc ~ 1 Comment

Twice in the last few weeks the term ‘real’ has come up for me. In a @GirlsGoneStrong post, Molly Galbraith told us if there was a woman we admired – to tell her. I took a moment to tell a snow colleague of mine who brought me into fitness instruction and health consulting that I admire her tenacity, expertise, and mad pull-up skills (in spite of her numerous shoulder surgery set backs). 1*

She returned with a genuine compliment that she appreciates me “for being real.”
I’ve heard this descriptor (and the words genuine and authentic) a fair amount. I always have mixed emotions about them. While I certainly suffered from “FONFI” (the fear of not fitting in) as an adolescent and young adult, I’ve never seemed to have the same degree of concern as many. This has (in part) allowed me to experience an extraordinary amount of life that others shy away from. 

While I treasure being told I’m viewed and seen as authentic and real, I am always partially heartbroken at how many times and in how many different ways people limit their actions, opportunities, and personality from the fear of being judged or failing. 

SO I am going to take a few minutes to share ways I think about things (and others) that allow me to accept (them and myself) for exactly who and where we are. I do this in the hopes of further creating an environment, culture, and society that encourages people to celebrate who they are and support them in their journeys of who they become over time. 
Looks

I am a beautiful person (and so are you!). Whether it’s my smile, the ways my eyes light up, the concern I have for another’s well being, the way my butt looks in these pants, or that my body is capable of enormous feats….I am undeniably beautiful. 

Whether my ‘normal’ pants fit, that I have a mole on my nose like a witch, or that I sweat profusely when I train it in NO way diminishes that fact. Don’t let perceived flaws or the fear of how others view you negatively impact your life. 

This is by no means how I feel 100% of the time – I struggle also. BUT I work extraordinarily hard at not allowing my ‘off days’ (or weeks/months) control my overall view of myself or worth. 

Looking/Sounding Dumb or Silly

I am TERRIBLE at a lot of things. I know way LESS than so many people on so many subjects. There are so many things I’ve never tried or experienced or have any awareness about. 
Life can be so amazing though if you experience it. But you have to try. Even if you’re going to be bad at it and/or look silly. Children rarely refuse an opportunity, an experience, or a chance to play and look at how fast they grow and learn and how exciting it is to be around them. It can be exhausting for us if we’re out of practice.  

If there’s something you’re interested in trying or doing…give it a shot. BE THE TODDLER! And laugh when you’re terrible. I took up rugby in my 30’s. I have terrible hands and laughable throws and still struggle with the rules and strategy. But I’ve become a solid tackler, the practices and games are good for my heart and lungs, and I’ve met a ton of great people – many of whom are great friends now. So put yourself out there to others and you’ll see them do the same with you. 

Struggles
We’ve all got them. Every successful, talented, gorgeous human you see or meet has difficulties. 

I have relationship problems. I’m divorced. I have days where I hate my job. I struggle with finances. I’ve (in the last 2 years) experienced bouts with depression and anxiety. I sometimes act impulsively and selfishly. Sometimes I eat like crap, don’t exercise much, and drink too much. I don’t call my friends and family as much as I should. 

And you know what? I’m still me. And I’m always working to cause a little less harm, to do a little more good, and to be a little more accepting. 

Others struggle with torn families, disease, infertility, addiction, racism, etc. 

There’s no destination. It’s a journey. If you accept yourself today – right where you are now – you’ll be surprised at how much more you can do. You may even find that others will be drawn to you because they see elements of themselves in you. And that’s not to say that you have to air all your dirty laundry. Being private is ok. Just try not to deny pieces of you because they help make you the awesome person you are. 
In closing:

I would love to see more people who feel comfortable being real. Being genuine. Being authentic. 

So be you. Be the badass mom. Be the car guy. Be the nerdy scientist. Be the shitty cook. Be the terrible parker. Be the movie aficionado. Be the comedian. But be. In all your glory and faults. 

 “Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”

-Dr. Seuss 

1*: *kudos to Jean Wu Lam for inspiring it*

I can’t. 

~ smrtrainingllc ~ 1 Comment

“I can’t.”These are my 2 least favorite words. Especially as a teacher or coach. (I’m also going to be using these words interchangeably throughout this piece).

When you teach a lesson, clinic, certification program, or are merely answering a question from a buddy….there are times when these words pop up. There is no condition, illness, or environment more devastating than the “I can’t” affliction. 
It’s quite possible this affliction is the roadblock stopping you from achieving your goals. This affliction is easily treated though through simple mental shifts. My job as a coach is to try and lead you through your brain maze when it keeps putting up “I can’t” roadblocks. 


While I consider them helpful in any area, they came to mind as the temps drop I gear up for SNOW! Here are a few quick ways to shift your perspective and cure you of that dreaded “I can’t disease”:

– “I can’t, yet” – adding this 3 letter word takes something from an impossibility to an eventuality. The subtle shift in language translates big time in attitude. It’s important to remember that the loftier the goal, the more involved the prep is and that can impact the length of time to get there. It’s important to set milestone goals within our big/long term goals. 
– “Is there another way to accomplish this same thing differently?” – many of us struggle with injuries, physical limitations, or conditions. But there is almost ALWAYS another way to skin the cat (what a weird saying). If you’ve got a bum ankle, crappy depth perception, or lack strength in an arena – there’s probably a way to modify the activity or achieve the end result. That being said, certain goals require certain fundamentals – but don’t worry if you don’t possess those. You just don’t possess them yet. There’s a lot of (damn near) magic occurring in the realms of science, medicine, physical therapy, chiropractors, rehab, and strength and conditioning. Find the support/team to help get you to your goals – sometimes it takes a village. 
–  “That wasn’t it – but let me try it again” – when learning something new….you should have an expectation that you’ll need to work on it. You might need to work on it a LOT to make even a little progress. If you start the session by accepting that there’s likely to be repeated failures BUT with a commitment to continue trying anyway – it’s a game changer. 
–  “I can’t today” – it’s normal to get frustrated. Or tired. Or hungry. Or a combination (maybe that’s just me). When used sensibly to throw the towel in for safety or sanity, a time out is a perfectly acceptable tool while working towards your goal. 
The above list is certainly not all encompassing but if it saves me hearing (or saying) “I can’t” even once this year, then it was well worth it. Be aware of your obstacles. Especially if you’re the one building them. 

It’s ok to ask for help

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It’s ok to ask for help

  

As a trainer I encounter people who often beat themselves up about not being able to stick to a diet, re-gaining weight they lost, or not working out consistently. While there can be benefits to being honest and realistic with yourself about your situation and weaknesses, those benefits can quickly be overrun by negatives if you allow them to. Look at any successful CEO or business owner and you’ll see a commonality: they surround themselves with people who can help them achieve their goals…especially in arenas in which they struggle. ‘Idea guys’ need a logistics person, ‘Engineer types’ need a people person, etc. I’m speaking in stereotypical generalities…but you get the point. Additionally, just because you know ‘what’ to do, it isn’t always easy to translate that into actually doing it. 

So when I meet someone who is successful at work and manages a family and hobbies but who expresses such frustration over not being able to control their nutrition, their workouts, or their weight…the solution seems simple to me: they need help. 

Help can come in the form of a nutritionist, a dietician, a personal trainer, Weight Watchers, beach body, a food logging program, a workout buddy, etc. What all of these things provide is accountability. Accountability is incredibly helpful during times of change and stress and let’s face it: changing a habit is stressful (even when it’s for the best). 

Our body reacts the same way whether we’re starting a new school, new job, moved homes, changed sleep schedules, get married, get divorced, or are introducing new nutrition and workout patterns into our lives. It’s something new. Something out of pattern. Something unusual. In short, it’s stressful. People (and living creatures in general) don’t naturally like that. When ‘stress’ occurs, we crave comfort. Something stable. Something we ‘know’. For so many of us, that’s food. Or sitting on the couch watching Netflix. Or a cocktail after a stressful day. 

So if the very change you’re trying to make is something you’ve turned to for weeks or months or years FOR COMFORT, then it’s a very difficult to change that very behavior. Even if it’s healthier for us in the long term.This is where accountability comes in. You need someone or something to help reinforce this ‘stress’ as something to endure until it becomes a habit/pattern and your body (and mind) accepts it as the new normal. 

This is why I’m not ashamed to ask for help (and you shouldn’t be either). After years of changing my lifestyle to a healthier, more fulfilling one, you would think I have this process down and wouldn’t need outside assistance, but you’re wrong. I’ve trained for and competed in bodybuilding competitions, strength competitions, and a marathon. I’m a personal and group fitness trainer and I help others meet their fitness and health goals. And I still ask for help. 

For each bodybuilding contest, I’ve hired a coach. For my Tactical Strength Challenges, I had a coach. For my first few strongman contests, I had what I refer to as ‘my 3 dads’ (experienced, knowledgeable, and selfless individuals who trained with me, watched technique, and helped me mentally prepare). Now make no mistake, I still did the heavy lifting (literally and figuratively). But it made all the difference in the world to have someone planning the strategy, someone who could help take the guesswork out of it and could tell me simply what to do and when. 

Specifically: after taking a year off after my last bodybuilding show to focus on growing additional muscle and strength, I happened upon strongman and became very intrigued by it and have (for the time being) decided to focus on it. I’ve been training for strongman for the past 6 months or so and its gone well. I took that time to figure out what was involved with the sport, what my natural strengths and weaknesses were, and where I fell along the competitive spectrum. 

During the past year and a half I’ve also enjoyed not having a physique based deadline looming over my head and have been indulging quite a bit. Unfortunately, without that deadline (or any real supervision) I went from enjoying occasional indulgences (but still listening to what makes my body happy) to over-indulging as a ‘norm’ instead of an exception. As a result, I gained fat, don’t fit in my pants as well, and I don’t feel good on a cellular level. 

When I came to this realization, I was approaching my most recent strongman contest and I decided that after my contest I would look to transition back to doing what makes me feel good on a regular basis while working to continue my growth in strongman. It made sense to me to ask for help with that. Currently I spend a lot of time working, training, and developing plans for others.  This is in addition to work and family.  It is easiest for me to take the nutrition and programming off my plate AND to have someone to hold me accountable. 

Additionally, I’m still new to strongman (and to serious strength training in general). I decided it’s a much better investment to hire a coach to do both for me. And that’s what I’ve done. I’m 6 days into phase one with my coach and excited, happy, and motivated. I’m not beating myself up, I’m not worried about results because I know I can trust him (as long as I follow the damn instructions), and the relief it has given me that I’m DOING something about it has been immense. While not everyone is in a position to hire a coach or trainer or nutritionist, there are other options. There are online coaching programs, groups that meet for regular exercise, Facebook accountability groups, challenges with fitbits, etc. Even the buddy system with a friend, neighbor, or relative can provide just the needed amount of oomph/accountability/consistency. 

I share this with you all because there should be no shame attached to asking for help.  Remember, you are living your life this very moment. It doesn’t start on Monday, after graduation, next season, or after you lose 10 lbs. SO: treat yourself with kindness and compassion (that means your body and your soul) and if you want to make a change, know that you’re responsible for the hard work BUT it’s ok to ask for help.  Really.